Khadijah Carter Testimony 2010

My name is Khadijah Carter (www.khadijahcarter.com) and I was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 28 years old.  I never imagined that I'd have to utter such words, but on a cold December morning in 2002, my life changed forever. While lying on my five-year-old daughter's bed, I touched my left breast and felt a lump. "Oh my God I do not want to die!'' I exclaimed. I rushed to the phone and called my friend whose aunt had passed away from breast cancer. I told her about my discovery. She said that the lump was probably there because of my period. But I was in tune with my body, so I didn’t feel comfortable with her response.

In January 2003, after my gynecologist examined my breasts, he announced:
''...it's probably nothing since you're only 28 years old, but I will send
you for a breast sonogram...'' When February came and it was time for the
appointment, I contemplated not going. I had altogether pushed the idea that
something was wrong out of my mind; nonetheless, I went. As the radiologist
pressed the sonogram device firmly on the lump, she mentioned that she saw something that should be highlighted to the doctor. When the doctor looked at
the monitor, I noticed a tinge of concern in her eyes as she told me to come
back for a breast biopsy. That is when I felt worried.   Yet, in between the next appointment, I continued life as normal: volunteering at my daughter's
school, running my boutique Public Relations Company, and singing with my band...

The breast biopsy was performed in March. On April 2^nd, with a somber look on his face, my gynecologist told me in classic textbook fashion that, “I have bad news.  You have breast cancer...” After I realized that there was no punch line to what I’d hoped was a cruel post-April fools joke, tears began falling profusely from my eyes.  My doctor proceeded to convey to me details about my diagnosis, but the audibility was hindered by my internal voice screaming, “I am not doing Chemotherapy, I do not want to lose my hair!”

I was too dumbfounded to ask any significant questions.  I haphazardly wrote illegible, tear-streaked notes on the biopsy report he had given to me. When I left the office, each painful stride felt like I was stepping on my shattered life.

When I went home, I began the daunting task of telling my friends and family about the situation. Since I had been adopted, I wondered if my fate was genetic. My daughter was oblivious to the inner-turmoil that I felt, but I got much solace as I held her close.  I silently prayed and vowed that I was going to beat this cancer!  

Over the next few days, I spent countless hours researching breast cancer treatments and eventually decided to move my case from the original hospital because I did not feel that they were responsive to my concerns. I'd accepted that since the tumor was aggressive it was best that I have a mastectomy. But I was adamant that I have breast reconstructive surgery because I was a young woman and refused to leave the hospital with only one breast!  I organized a new medical team who understood my concerns, which made things much easier.

After my surgery in May, my doctors said that my prognosis was good but recommended that I take chemotherapy as an ''insurance policy'' and Tamoxifen, a hormonal therapy, for five years. I was still against the idea of taking chemo because I did not know how my body would react to it. After a few weeks, the prayers of my loved ones penetrated my resistance and I started chemo in August, which lasted through November 2003. During this time, as I feared, I lost my hair, but decided to embrace my bald and beautiful look. I had to endure the side effects of chemotherapy, but despite those dark days, I felt that prayer and being optimistic would contribute to my healing. And it did. During this time I wrote the lyrics to my signature inspirational song: This Day, which is my personal anthem because it speaks to the truth about life. “The sun will rise, the rain will fall, a new day will appear. Just believe. You will see. You’ll make it through this day…”

Today, I have a renewed spirit. I am not a victim; I have power through God who strengthens me. I accept my life as it is. I encourage everyone to be proactive with their health. Mostly, I want them to realize that despite whatever they're going through, there is light at the end of the tunnel!